Uncle Death

Uncle Death
Voice Actor(ENG)	Jukka Hildén
Voice Actor(JPN)	Kenta Hamano
Height	163cm / 5'3"
Weight	33kg / 72.7 lbs
Birthday	???
Blood Type	???
Class	1-DIE
Club	Golf
Hobbies	Skateboarding, golf, gaming
One-Liner	"Senpai! You're the best!"

Uncle Death is the skateboarding skeleton mascot for LET IT DIE! After meeting him at the beginning of the game, he guides you through the rest of the game's world. He's got a feeling you're going to get along just fine!

Design

Appearance

Uncle Death appears to be none other than the Grim Reaper himself, the personification of Death. He adorns himself in a huge black dufflecoat with yellow fastenings (and two hoods), black jeans, and black boots with yellow laces tied bar style. He can always be found wearing a pair of super rad shades, the most recognizable of these being his red X-Ray Glasses. Other glasses include the Space Funglasses, Ultra 3D Glasses, X-Rated Glasses, DAIMON Glasses, and after the 40F boss is defeated, the Happy Yuppie Glasses. Compared to everybody else in the game, he is notably quite short.

He seems to be a living skeleton, though notably does not have any part of himself under his clothing visible. He wears gloves over his hands (but with a skeleton hand design), and his neck is hidden under black fabric. The top and back of his head is always hooded, and it may be possible that his skeleton face is a mask. If you look closely, you may notice what seems to be another mouth underneath his skeleton mouth, and there are some scenes where you can spot human eyes underneath his glasses. He does claim to have "nasty gunky shit" instead of internal organs, though this may have just been a joke. But skeleton or not—the power he holds is very real.

He owns a black skateboard with a green trim and purple wheels, labelled with "DEATH FROM ABOVE" and the Let It Die logo, which somehow produces a trail of blue flames. He also carries a custom golden golf club which doubles as his Reaper's Scythe - he happens to be very proficient in both golf and reaping. It is possible the Death Metals were originally designed after him as well.

His clothes are available in-game as the Reaper's Set.

Personality

Uncle Death is very happy and carefree. Particularly, he seems very eager to make friends with the player—the first thing he says to you is "Senpai!". He continues this trend throughout the entire game, and in both English and Japanese versions, will always refer to the player as "Senpai" in an affectionate manner, and even addresses all his mail with "Dear Senpai". Whether this is out of genuine affection or an ulterior motive is up to interpretation, but in either case, he is very encouraging to the player as they climb their way up the Tower of Barbs. For those unaware, "Senpai" is a Japanese honorific typically used to refer to someone either older or more experienced than you, and some of you cool kids may have heard of the "Notice me, Senpai!" anime trope. "Kouhai" is the opposite, for someone younger or less experienced—though it doesn't see as much casual use. The fact Uncle Death calls you Senpai when you would normally be his Kouhai is a way of showing endearment—that he believes you, not him, are the cool, skilled fighter to look up to.

He's very passionate about his hobbies for skating, golf, and most of all, video games. He's constantly joking, and makes gaming-related comments to you the most when you speak to him. All in all, Uncle Death is very approachable and friendly, and (especially as the mascot) is a fan favorite among players of LET IT DIE. However, he's shown a serious side on a few occasions... perhaps he knows more than he's letting on?

Abilities

While not shown in action too often, Uncle Death does have some noteworthy powers. He can teleport to other locations through a black cloud he creates. If you die in the tower and become a Hater, then return and kill your Hater, Uncle Death will appear through this black cloud to collect the Hater and send them back to your Fighter Freezer. He also seems to have the strange property of being in multiple places at once—he is the only character who exists within the real world and game world at once, appearing in both the Hated Arcade and your Fighter Freezer. Even within the game world, the Buffalo Bank and the Forcemen booths have what appear to be his hands coming out of them. He also always appears in front of the Don fights before you do. Whether this is due to the game world or Uncle Death himself is uncertain.

He seems to also be proficient in killing with his scythe. He is also a skilled skater and golfer.

FINAL CUTSCENE SPOILERS (POST 40F)

Seriously, big spoilers here

He dropped the moon out of the sky and killed the Last Boss with one slice from his scythe. Guy is strong man.

Quotes

Introduction

Introduction Quotes

• "Senpai! I was waiting for you! This is your first time riding Line 15, huh? I know, it's not a very well known line, I admit. Anyway, this is the last stop."
• "Oh yeah... Here, take this! It's called an Underworld Rolodex, and it's super important. I forgot to mention... My name is Uncle Death. I have a feeling we're going to get along just fine."
• "Hey Senpai! It's me! This device here, as all the cool kids call it, is a "smartphone"! I'll be keeping in touch!"
• "Yeah! Let's go! Your first enemy is up ahead!"
• "Go ahead, Senpai. There are three levels of punches."
• "If your heart rate gets too high, you'll start to get exhausted. So take it easy, buddy."
• "Oh yeah, by the way, when you are exhausted you're totally defenseless. So be careful!"
• "Woahhh! Not bad! That last hit was killer!"
• "Pick up any equipment dropped by your enemies. Equip dropped items to gain power. You know, the usual process."
• "Yeah! You should be able to "jump!" and shimmy up there somehow."
• "Hey! Up ahead, they look suspicious. Time for some killing!"
• "Now's the time to let out all that pent up rage you've got inside you."
• "AWESOME! Woo-hooooo!"
• "You can either "block" or "evade" enemy attacks."
• "Nice! That was pretty sweet."
• "Senpai, when you pick up items, you can choose to put them in this Death Bag instead of carrying them. Equipment, mushrooms, anything you can't carry can go in there."
• "Eat mushrooms. That's a given."
• "Go on, try a bite. I'm sure it's delicious..."
• "Feeling pretty pumped now, huh? Good thing it wasn't poisonous..."
• "Oh, you didn't take any damage. Leet skills bro!"
• "Senpai, I can't wait to see your next battle... where you're gonna get killed!"
• "Let's get crazy with it! Be courteous. But fuck shit up!"
• "Perform a killing blow when your opponent is knocked out."
• "Wanna try again? Oh, wait, let me put the title logo up real quick. You know how these things go."
• "Woo-hoo!"
• "Ah, finally waking up? You seemed sleepy so I turned it off. Huh? I'm talking about the DEATH DRIVE 128 of course, man! You were just playing it, remember? Hey, pretty cool, huh? Pretty badass? It's the best game console ever! And this game, "LET IT DIE"! It's probably the greatest game ever made! Yeah! The goal of the game is pretty simple. Just make it to the top of the Tower of Barbs. It's like a hack-and-slash roguelike kind of a thing. WATAAACHINGCHAAA!! Hey dude! You're a gamer aren't you? Then you'll totally be fine. Just try it out! I'll set it up for you."
• "OK, all ready to go! Let's get started! I'll start the game."

Hated Arcade

Uncle Death will say one of these lines when returning to the Waiting Room from the Hated Arcade.

Arcade Quotes

• "Yeah! Ready to start a new game?"
• "Bro! You can totally make it this time. I believe in you!"
• "It's not about how many times you die, it's about how many times you try! Hahaha. Oh damn. Rhyming feels good."
• "I had a dream that you beat this game yesterday. And that's gotta be a good sign, right?"
• "Come on, I've been waiting. Put a motor in it, man!"
• "Don't give up, Senpai!"
• "Things are just getting started!"
• "I can't wait to see you have a perfect run next time!"
• "I just got back from my yearly medical checkup. Turns out, I don't have any internal organs... just nasty gunky shit. Anyway, ready to play?"
• "Oh, hey! Finally decided to wake up? I thought you were dead or something."
• "Hahahaha! You were sleeping with your mouth open, just so you know! Come on, let's play!"
• "Spring is a time of new beginnings and new farwells. So let's stop being pussies and play, Senpai!" - During Spring only.
• "Ah, it's so damn hot in here my balls are sweating! Is the AC broken or what? Ah well, at least the game's still working!" - During Summmer only.
• "Ah, cooler weather is finally here. It'll be winter soon, and I gotta put a sock on my balls. You ready to play?" - During Autumn only.
• "Old man winter has arrived, and I know his wife. A cold day like today is perfect for gaming." - During Winter only.
• "Woo-hoo! Yeah! It's almost the holidays! Of course, they really don't mean much to Death. Ready to play?" - During Winter only.
• "I know, I know, it's out of character for me to say this. But Happy Holidays! Asshole. Now let's get to the game." - During Winter only.
• "Well, it was a fun year we've had together. Let's try and beat this game before the year ends, shall we? Pretty please? You with me? Come on. Ah, please, please please please..." - Before New Year's.
• "WOOHOO! Happy New Year! I have a feeling you'll definitely take the top spot in this game this year! Or get killed very violently." - After New Year's.

Tower of Barbs

Tower Quotes

• "Look, there you are from before! The old you is nothing but a raging maniac now! You have to kill him before he kills you!" - Entering the Tower after the Introduction, 1F IKEGARA.
• "Senpai! I just sent you a super important text right now. Be sure to read it!"
• "This floor feels really strange to me. You're not afraid, man? Woah, you're really brave, man." - 3F TAMATA.
• "I knew I knew I knew I knew, something bad was gonna happen... That thing there is what you call a middle boss!" - COEN boss fight, 3F TAMATA.
• "Nice work, man! I knew you could take out that ugly piece of shit. Woah! You're gonna be a legend!" - Defeating COEN, 3F TAMATA.
• "Oh look, a new specimen! And this time it's a girl! Uh, I think..." - JIN-DIE boss fight, 6F MOKA-MAGOME.
• "Alright, so this sexy girl, she specializes in ranged attacks. So, if she kills you, she's gonna use your head as a cannon ball." - JIN-DIE boss fight, 6F MOKA-MAGOME.
• "Nice one, Senpai! Now that is what I call fucking entertaining!" - Defeating JIN-DIE, 6F MOKA-MAGOME.
• "Ah! Those are the Jackals. They are body collectors. I wouldn't get in their way if I were you. I know I know, they got cool looking equipment, but good luck trying to get it off them." - 8F META-KOYA.
• "I can't believe you've made it this far, Senpai! This is your first big challenge on your way to the top." - Outside Max Sharp's boss fight, 10F OMENO-SOTO.
• "HAHAHA! Looks like you have to make your way to the first car of the train for this boss battle. Just try not to fall! Cuz you'll die!" - Max Sharp's boss fight, 10F OMENO-SOTO.
• "There's a dangerous trap on this train car. Be careful, son." - Max Sharp's boss fight, 10F OMENO-SOTO.
• "Nice work. Keep it up, and you'll be at the top in no time. Hehe! So you think..." - Defeating Max Sharp, 10F OMENO-SOTO.
• "Woohoo! You've finally made it to the surface, Senpai. Keep on going. You're almost at the top now." - Reaching 11F MAKA-TSUTSUMI.
• "Senpai... I think we have another mini boss on our hands. And uh... This one doesn't even look human." - GOTO-9 boss fight, 11F MAKA-TSUTSUMI.
• "I haven't been this excited in a while! Time for your second challenge. You'll be fine, don't worry. You're the hero!" - Outside Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "Senpai! It's a bomb! If you pick up that head, you'll be blown to bits! You're going to have to disarm it!" - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20FF HACHIYANMA.
• "There are three disarming devices in total." - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "Watch out for landmines! And bananas!" - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "Yeah! Press and hold the button in front of the disarming device!" - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "That's one down. Hurry to the next one!" - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "You're making great time, bro! Head for the next target." - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "Yeah dude! You did it! You disarmed the explosives! Good job! You're a hero! Hey! Let's go get a stamp, shall we?" - Colonel Jackson's boss fight, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "Well! You've managed to make it through your second real challenge. Impressive." - Defeating Colonel Jackson, 20F HACHIYANMA.
• "Nice! Next up is your third big challenge! Now let's see how well you can use that controller." - Outside Mr. Crowley's boss fight, 30F SAIGETSU.
• "Try to avoid that wizard's flame and lightning attacks!" - Mr. Crowley's boss fight, 30F SAIGETSU.
• "Okay, okay, you've made it this far. It won't be much longer now..." - Defeating Mr. Crowley, 30F SAIGETSU.
• "Senpai, you've come a long way. If you fell from here, it'd be a certain death." - Reaching 31F OBARA.
• "I had no idea you'd make it this far. Are you some kind of a pro gamer? Much respect! Word up, buddy! You're coming up on your final challenge. Apparently, you can't equip anything from this point forward. I'll hold on to your items for you in the meantime. Go on, don't be shy. Ah, come on. Take off your equipment." - Outside Taro Gunkanyama's boss fight, 40F FUTAGI.
• "Ready to take off your equipment now?" - Outside Taro Gunkanyama's boss fight, 40F FUTAGI.
• "Don't worry, I'll give everything back later. Good luck in your fight!" - Starting Taro Gunkanyama's boss fight, 40F FUTAGI.
• "Wow! Sorry, Senpai! All your equipment got stolen! If you can survive, you should be able to get it all back. Good luck!" - During Taro Gunkanyama's boss fight, 40F FUTAGI.
• "N...N...NO WAY! You've gotta be kidding me! I never thought you'd make it this far, dude!" - Defeating Taro Gunkanyama, 40F FUTAGI.

Final Cutscene

If you have not defeated the 40F boss, be warned that this contains spoilers for the game's ending.

SPOILERS

Seriously, big spoilers here

• "You are now approaching the top of the Tower. Thank you for participating in this event to reach the top of the Tower of Barbs, sponsored by the Yotsuyama Group. There is an important announcement from the Yotsuyama Group for any participant who manages to reach this escalator. What I am about to speak of is all fact. This Tower was actually modified by the Yotsuyama Group after it was formed during the Earth Rage. The president of the Yotsuyama Group is none other than Uncle Death, a messenger from the Underworld. Death was long ago entrusted with the task of strengthening the souls of the dead, and so this tower was designated for use as a training ground for that purpose. This training is conducted so that exceptionally strong souls may be delivered to the moon. That which you see before you is that moon, but of course not the moon as it is normally known. It is a ball of fire fueled by these strong souls. Those flames will soon reach their peak and collide with the Earth, disintegrating it into cosmic dust in an instant. As you may have already figured out by now, Death has planned this collision of the moon and Earth all along. You were simply coerced into climbing this Tower by disguising it in the form of a game. I apologize for having to give you this terrible news in your moment of glory upon reaching the top of the Tower, but this voice guide and all things related to the Yotsuyama Group were created by Uncle Death in order to guide you and others to the top of this Tower. I hope that you can accept your fate and these truths and allow yourself to be absorbed into the moon as intended. You are now approaching the top of the Tower. Thank you for your hard work and support on this long journey." - Narrated by Mother Barbs, not Uncle Death.
• "I guess you know the whole story now. Everything you heard is true. My goal is to destroy all of humankind. Why? Because I am Death. What else would Death do? My job is to bring humans to their demise. Humans do nothing but corrupt and destroy the Earth. Even with the lands split into four pieces they cannot control their greed and continue to fight and kill each other. The time has come for them to pay for their sins by the hand of Hell's greatest punishment. So that's it. Game over. It was fun though, Senpai. Well, that was the plan anyway. But you know what? I'm done with all this. Senpai, the thing is... I've really come to respect you! It's a miracle that you've managed to make it this far! Plus, the way you fought to get here... You're a world class fighter! You can do anything! I really just want to see more of your amazing performance! So this is supposed to be where the last boss fight starts, but I'm done with all that now. Check this out instead! It's the "DEATH DRIVE XXX"! Have you heard about it? It just came out today! Come on, come on, let's play!" - 41F CHOJO.
• "I love the smell of new gaming hardware. Isn't it exciting?! This is the long-awaited launch title for the DEATH DRIVE XXX. "LET IT DIE -- Battle to the Top", by Liquid Software! Yeah! I've loaded in your previous progress data. I'll be here cheering you on, if you need something just drop me a text!" - Back at the Hated Arcade.

Goretastic

Goretastic Quotes

• "Haha, nice one."
• "Goretastic!"
• "Impressive!"
• "Brutal!"
• "Wild!"
• "Amazing!"
• "Yeah! Beautiful!"
• "Awesome!"
• "Righteous!"
• "Gnarly!"
• "That's epic, bro!"
• "Sweet!"
• "I like it!"
• "Right on!"
• "Two thumbs up!"
• "Oh yeah!"
• "Hell yeah!"
• "Woo-hoo! Yeah!"
• "Goretical!"
• "Primo!"
• "Yeah!"
• "Woo-hooooo!"
• "Senpai! You're bad*ss."

Unused

Unused Quotes. May or may not be canon.

• "Owh, what a bummer. That guy was pretty damn strong."
• "Senpai! Do you remember this place? Press the button to get things started, just like I showed you! You'll start on floor B10. Your first goal is to make it to the surface."
• "Hahaha! The old you wants to say hi!"
• "That was a great fight! Nice going."
• "Look! Look look! It's your first enemy! Better kill them before they kill you."
• "WOOHOO! Congratulations! You leveled up! Keep leveling, and increase your stats to get stronger."
• "Eating mushrooms is the only way you can get stronger. There are many different kinds of mushrooms, and they each do a different thing. Whenever you eat a mushroom, it'll be recorded on your Underworld Rolodex. You should have a look at it, when you have the time."
• "On this mountain, a person will steal your weapon in a second if you're not careful. If you want to survive here, you have no choice but to be ruthless."
• "Ah, "D.I.Y. or Die". This is a poster for the wildly popular home improvement chain-store in Nashville."
• ""CEO Of D.I.Y. Or Die Arrested In His Home." Hah, oh yeah, I remember this..."
• "In this tower, every floor has a stamping station. Mysterious, isn't it? Anyway, it's up to you if you want to stamp or not."
• "Yeah! Congratulations Senpai! Hey, you wasted your tenth enemy earlier. Senpai! I'll be checking on your progression in your Underworld Rolodex, so keep it up!"
• "Senpai! I've never seen that guy around here before..."
• "Huh... Could that be the boss of the Jackals?"
• "If you lose this battle, you'll get sucked in forever."
• "Jeez, she must have a serious case of munchies. Try not to let her bite you. Even though she is sexy."
• "Whoa! Nothing can stop you now!"
• "Something strange? I know, right? This place looks very similar to before, but it's actually completely different. Weird, isn't it? This tower is constantly changing and reforming itself. Every time you enter it's gonna be completely different."
• "Yeah, a button. That's never a good sign."
• "Ah, a poster for War Ensemble. They're a defense contractor specializing in weapons development. Sounds pretty dangerous to me."
• "What a terrible tragedy that was. Some people really do just wanna watch the world burn."
• "Hurry to the second disarming device!"
• "Yeah! You're nearly to the last one."
• "Yeah, did you know that RPG's started from friends just talking around a table? There's an interesting history behind everything."
• "The weather's been really weird recently. Mother Earth sure seems mad for some reason."
• "Ah yeah, the famed martial arts troupe, M.I.L.K. I hear they're pretty hardcore and do some insane stunts."
• "Oh yeah, these guys are crazy. I heard they were fighting to the death, and some spectators even got killed in the process! Pretty wicked stuff!"
• "Senpai! Hahaha. Did you get your equipment back?"
• "Keep running those extermination missions!"
• "Man! You're almost at the top now!"

Mail

Game Update

These letters are delivered to every player regardless of their personal progress. If you start a new character, you will receive all of these mails at once.

New 4 FORCEMEN Rule?!

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
How's it hanging, buddy?
Been challenging the 4 FORCEMEN at all lately?

Man… Seeing you always chasing after stronger opponents… I got nothing on you! I'm a worm!
I oughta lick your boots!
Just kidding. Too far? LOL!

By the way, that new "Red Napalm" character's added a new rule!
Apparently Hard and Nightmare modes now negate any previous mushroom doping effects!
Totally hash… I mean, harsh!

I was just minding my own business, munching shrooms, the usual… Then as soon as I tried to fight, some dude from the entry box zapped me with a mushroom null gun!
(OK, it was kinda awesome.)

But don't get mad at him, OK?
He's just doing his job, IMO.
Besides… he kinda seems like a cool dude, y'know? I mean, I could be wrong, I dunno…

Oh, and by the way, it looks like WS still allows doping up with mushrooms ahead of time.
(WS = White Steel, in case you forgot.) Anyway, keep up the good fight! I'm rooting for you!

Well, later!

Version 2.2 is here!

Dear Senpai,

It's me.
There's a lot going on in this update, so let me elucidate!

First!

"It's a lot easier to attack on TDM!"

It seems attacking is now free.
What's more, you don't lose anything for failing an attack.
So what're you waiting for?

Second!

"An ironclad defense with defense alarms!"

Another feature has been added to make TDM more tactical! Attaching a "defense alarm" to a defense fighter makes them far more effective. Basically, the alarm summons reinforcements.

You can select them from the Metro Front in "Waiting Room" > "Purchase Alarm"

And third!

"A lost and found treasure trove?!"

Successful attack or defense can now earn you Lost Bags! Worried the original owners will come back?
Don't worry, the statutory period's passed on all items!

Next, number four!

"Attack Insurance! Safety Guaranteed"

Let's say your waiting room gets attacked, and you're cleared out of your Kill Coins.
As long as you have an express pass, you'll be able to get back all the stolen Kill Coins and SPLithium! Isn't that cool?

Nearly there, number five!

"Customize your waiting room!"

Now you can spend as much time and effort as you want on making your room just the way you want it!

Check it out at Metro Front > Waiting Room > Redecorate

The last one! Number six!

"Recycling! Good for the earth AND for you!"

You've found yourself with duplicate blueprints or premium decals, am I right?
Well I have some good news for you! You can now take all your unwanted blueprints and premium decals to the Hernia Vending Machine and turn them into Recycle Points! Save up the points and exchange them for items!

You can pick either Recycle Blueprints or Recycle Decals from the Hernia Vending Machine.

…Sorry for the long message.

Oh, and the following Barb's Bibles and TDM Bibles have been updated.

• Barb's Bible Vol.13 "Hernia Vending Machine"
• Barb's Bible Vol.20 "Direct Hell Services"

• TDM Bible Vol.1 "Tokyo Death Metro"
• TDM Bible Vol.2 "Attacks"
• TDM Bible Vol.5 "Defense"

Catch you later.

Rejoice! Version 2.3

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
So it's finally kicked off!
What d'ya mean "what has?"
Everyone's ranks in TDM up until now will be totally wiped to make way for the latest update "TDM Battle Rush" is what!
Putting it clear and simple, a fresh start at things.
Getting a hot start is where it counts most so let's show some hustle, Senpai!

So it seems a whole bunch of rules have changed as well. Like, abducted Fighters will fly back to the nest after 4 hours.
To be honest, I really don't know jack about this so check out TDM Bible Vol.3 "Abducted Fighters" and TDM Bible Vol.6 "Welcome to TDM" to find out more.

Also, "Weapon Power" will now show up in your Garage!
Pretty sick, huh? You can't see it from the Option Menu but next to where the Fighter-type icon is, there are now icons looking like a sword or shield with numbers beside them.
You see 'em? Great! Wait, you can't see them while reading this? Yeah, that's fair…

So it seems like this "Weapon Power" is affected by things like your Equipment or Decals. Come on Senpai! This is interesting, I swear! Isn't being able to understand your strength through cold-hard numbers what you've always dreamed of? Even when you're setting up your defenses you'll be able to see your Overall Weapon Power! It's fun when you notice things, like, "Sweet! I've gotten stronger" or "Shit, I'm so weak now!" right?
Explanations about "Weapon Power" and "Overall Weapon Power" have been added to Barb's Bible Vol.17 "Fighter Freezer" and TDM Bible Vol.5 "Defense," so check them out!

Oh! Also, all of Senpai's hard work in TDM up until yesterday, has been lovingly recorded into the Book of Souls' Play Log. So, I don't know, if you're bored out of your mind, how 'bout giving it a look?

Good luck out there Senpai!

Catch you later!

4 FORCEMEN: Mr. Black

Dear Senpai

It's me!

He's here! Who, you ask?
Black Thunder, 3rd member of the 4 FORCEMEN, that's who! This time it seems like there are some special rules when challenging Mr. Black…

1) Everybody Heals
2) Black Thunder Atk+
3) Rage Move Boost
4) Player Atk+

One of these four effects will trigger every 30 seconds during the battle. What d'ya mean you don't get it? Wakey-wakey, Senpai! Well, let's just give it a try; Senpai's always been more of a doer than a thinker.

Oh yeah! There's a few different orders in which these effects come into play. Just imagine, you're just about to win and then BAM! "Everybody Heals" triggers. That'd be pretty annoying, right!

I'd say it's a pretty good time to start getting prepared for "Hard" and "Nightmare" battles!

Well, later!

Rejoice! Version 2.5!

Dear Senpai,

Me again!
And before you know it, Version 2.5!

The Waiting Room has become even more useful! Firstly, there's been HUGE new developments in the form of the Superscope 703! It's kinda like a periscope but also kinda like one of those touristy telescopes, nice huh? This beauty allows you to peek into this world and accept all kinds of quests, what a time to be alive! Now is a better time than any to get questing! You want more info? Go check out Barb's Bible! Oh, by the way, it's next to the Fighter Freezer.

So, you wondering what the hell those statue things are about on either side of the Superscope 703, right? Yeah, about that, those are the twin brother and sister of Tokyo Death Metro's own mascot Tetsuo! No, really!

Well, catch you later!

Skipper P and the List

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
The 4th member of the 4 FORCEMEN has finally arrived! The name's Pale Wind, the last of the 4 FORCEMEN! And with the utmost respect I call them Skipper P.

Now, while the battle won't be all that different from normal, the location's how should I say, themed… That's right! You'll be battling to the death on a slippy-slippy ice rink, how fun!

Watch out for the goals and stuff, too! Well, doing is learning, as somebody said, somewhere…

Oh, but wait a second, I've got one more bit of news. We've got this new thing in the Storage Chest, it's …the List view! That's right, you can now view your stuff in a list! Dun-dun-DUUUN! What d'ya mean it's about time?!

Actually, it's even better than that, you also get to choose whether to use the old or new style! Honestly, I think that we just spoil you rotten. Icons, lists…the choices are endless!

Anyway, enjoy!

See ya!

Woot! Version 2.6!

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
New version already, that's fast, huh? I checked it all out, so lemme give you a heads-upon this new Freebie Salvage we got.

It lets you salvage Haters from Tower of Barbs floors 20 and below for free! Awesomesauce!

I can picture you doing the mini fist pump in joy but err… You only salvage the Fighters, not the stuff they were carrying. Well shit, you can't have everything. It's free, what'd you expect?

And what about salvaging Haters from floors 21 and above? You gotta pay like before… Well, not quite, as you can now also pay in Death Metal. Neat! …Senpai! How 'bout a smile for once?

There was one more thing… What was it… Ah, yeah. TDM rules got updated, too. Defeating Defenders now earns you TDM points, and there's a bonus for 60% or higher Destruction.

If you've got some time to kill, you can read about it in TDM Bible Vol.2 "Raid" section. And you'll find all about the Freebie Salvage in Barb's Bible Vol.17 "Fighter Freezer."

That's all. See ya!

New Jackals?!

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
Dude, I am FREAKING OUT. Have you heard the rumors??? Apparently the Jackals are rampaging around somewhere between 42F-49F… and… they're even stronger now!!!

Don't worry. If you happen to run into them, just get out of there! Though I wouldn't blame you if you were curious…
Anyway, just play it safe!

Oh, but if you do see 'em, let a brother know how it goes, would ya? Maybe ask the cutest one for their number! Just kidding.

Catch you later!

4 FORCEMEN Battle Fee!

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
Have you been sparring with the 4 FORCEMEN? I've been hearing some comments lately, like, "I wanna fight them, but they're too strong!" "It costs too much!" "Nerf the invisibility thing!"

Well, apparently they're trying out a new solution for the cost thing. Now the battle fees are waived once a day for any difficulty!

So that's 4 opponents, x 3 difficulty levels, x2 spawns per week… SWEET! That's 24 free fights, dude! You should get in on this, pronto!

Oh, by the way, I asked MEIJIN for tips on how to deal with Palmy's ol' invisibility trick. He told me, "Just close your eyes and look with your heart!" Yeah, uhh… I think he's been reading too much manga… Don't tell him I said that, OK? lmao.

Catch you later!

Woo-hoo! Version 3.0!

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
How ya doin', buddy? I hear we've finally made it to Version 3.0 – and it's all thanks to you! For real, dude! I'm so touched, my Manly Tears gauge is about to max out!!! Anyway, just thought I'd write in to tell you about the new update. (sniffle)

Point number 1: New expansion for the Tower of Barbs!

They're finally gonna let us climb up to 51F and beyond! But be warned: it's gonna be hella freakin' hard, Senpai!

Point number 2: New resources, new Mushrooms!

They've added two new resources: Bloodnium and Death 'Roids. Supposedly, Bloodnium is this weird, unknown energy that came about as a chemical reaction between high-level supercondensed oxygen and enemy blood! As for Death 'Roids, I'm told they're a new type of powerful drug that you can get somewhere on the new floors!

Also, they've discovered a new type of Mushroom called a Splattershroom. Eat it to get some Bloodnium. Confused? You and me both, pal! Just do me a favor and eat a Splattershroom sometime when you get to 51F. There are plenty of uses for it, which I'll explain later on.

On to point number 3: Uncapped Fighters!

Take your stat-maxed Fighter over to Mingo Head and they'll get even stronger! Yep, they raised the limits! Apparently it'll cost you Bloodnium or Death 'Roids to break the stat caps, so just keep that in mind.

Point number 4: Uncapped equipment, too!

Just when you thought your gear had reached its limits, now you can upgrade it even further!!! Finally, you can power up that awesome-but-impractical armor! It'll still cost you SPLithium and Materials, though. Sorry about that!

Lastly, point number 5: Buff Effects!

There's a new Buff Effect at Choku-Funsha: Funshots! Supposedly it's a quantification of Kommodore Suzuki's gratitude, blah blah blah – look, it's a buff, alright? So go get buffed up sometime! He can even buff up random equipment, but he says it's a "trade secret." What a Buffy McBufferson! (Whoops… I just really like saying the word 'buff,' don't you?)

Anyway, that's about it!
TL;DR: lots of good stuff happening!

…Oh yeah, one more thing! You can also trade Bloodnium for certain Vending Machine items!

Oh, and there's gonna be a few Bible updates:

- Barb's Bible Vol.12 "Choku-Funsha"
- Barb's Bible Vol.13 "Vending Machine: Hernia"
- Barb's Bible Vol.25 "Mingo Head"

Catch you later!

Woo-hoo! Version 4.0!

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
Senpai, it's been so long!
How've ya been?!
It's taken ten years of grueling hard work and sacrifice, but Version 4.0 is finally here!!

You won't believe this, but the Tower of Barbs is getting even bigger and barbier! This update adds new routes from 51F upwards.

But these floors are seriously hard, with some special challenges to boot! They won't even let you in until you prove yourself by reaching TENGOKU 100F.  It's for your own safety, believe me! I'll let you know all the details real soon, Ok?

I've got another big announcement for ya, hot off the press!

Introducing Armor Skins! Now available at your local Choku-Funsha.

What are Armor Skins, you ask?  They let you feel like you're wearing armor without wearing it at all! Amazing, right?

Sorry, lemme try explaining that again… Okay, so, if you set some armor as an Armor Skin, it'll change the appearance of your Fighter without changing your equipped gear and its stats.  Now you can be fabulous and still kick ass, Senpai!

It doesn't work for Haters, Hunters, or Defenders, though.  Too bad, huh?

The old guy from Choku-Funsha is really something.  It turns out he takes all the shavings and crap left over after strengthening gear to +4 and mixes it with the powder of the rare Feelshroom and BAM! You got yourself an Armor Skin.  Man, I wish he'd tell me where he gets this stuff!

Oh, uh, this is a nice, clean powder! There's no side effects and it's not addictive, so it's totally legal.  Just relax and snort some through a rolled-up hundred-dollar bill! I'm joking LOL.

That's it from me!
Sorry 'bout the long message.

Oh, and there's been some Bible updates, too.

- Barb's Bible Vol.12 "Choku-Funsha"
- Barb's Bible Vol.27 "4 FORCEMEN"
- Barb's Bible Vol.33 "TENGOKU"

Catch you later!

TENGOKU: Four Towers 1

Dear Senpai,

It's me!
Man… I can hardly believe it, but there are new routes open!

Past Tower of Barbs 51F, there are special floors designed for each group: 
D.O.D. ARMS, War Ensemble, Candle Wolf, and M.I.L.K!

There's more! Looks like you'll get a huge stat boost on each route if you use weapons and armor made by that area's group.  I'm talkin' major buffs!

But you aren't the only one getting some buffs… The enemies are no joke! I'll be honest, Senpai: it doesn't look good for you if you go in there with the wrong gear.

It's all worth it, though, 'cause the materials and other stuff the enemies drop are on par with TENGOKU 100F! But are you masochistic enough for such a hardcore challenge?! I'll get the soda and popcorn!

Ah, Ok, so there's one other thing I gotta tell you…

I hate to say it, but we've had some…issues…while building the new areas.  Lazy contractors, embezzlement, plumbing disasters, blah, blah, blah…

So the upshot is only one of the four new routes is ready:
the NEO D.O.D area.  Total bummer, am I right?

But don't worry! The other routes will open soon, one by one.  You just gotta be patient, Senpai! I'll let you know when they're good to go!

Catch you later!